My maternal grandmother died a couple of weeks ago. The news was a little upsetting but not entirely unexpected. She had been in a nursing home for the last couple of years struggling with health issues, including dementia. She was a Christian and is now with her Lord and with grandpa too so it's really for the best. The funeral was good, as far as funerals go, and the time with family afterwards was pleasant.
Since then, I have been thinking more about my own funeral. Not in a morbid 'I'd better organise it all now in case it's soon' type way but more in a '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' type way where it is suggested as a way to help work out how to live your life. If you think about what you want people to remember you for then that information can help shape current choices so that you head that way. It has been a bit helpful, but not really conclusive. The only thing I'm sure of is that I would like to be remembered as a faithful follower of Jesus. Everything else is undecided. It's not important to me that I be remembered for having an impecable home, that much is clear from the current state of our abode. If it was, I'd have a hell of a task ahead of me. I wouldn't mind being remembered for baking abilities but that's a fairly minor issue. It has been making me ponder though, how am I going to spend my days?
I've also been reading a time management book and I find myself in a quandry. I want to make the best of my time. I want to be organised. I want to get everything sorted so that in the end I save time on things and I think it would be helpful in spending my days well and productively BUT... then I wonder if that's all so necessary and I think that if everything is so structured then there's no room for spontaneity. Can movies only be watched when they are timetabled in? Games and times with friends and family only embarked upon at the designated time? There are two extremes and I don't like either end, but this drifting along and getting through by the skin of my teeth that I feel is my current method isn't really working either.
Added to this is my generally low energy level and a high 'I just can't be bothered' level. I'm not sure how much of this is due to small children , how much to lack of good sleep, how much to continued chemo effects or indeed whether its a nasty combo of all of them or something entirely different. At the moment it doesn't matter how much I intend to do or whether I timetable every unit of the day, when it comes down to it half the time I just can't be arsed.
Hello Friend,
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. When the kid's were young I felt a lot of that. Perhaps it is the little people mode so that we can just hand around until the emergencies they create pop up as they inevitably do. These days I find that I can be bothered more and more about things I think are important and am passionate about or I think are wrong. A little like when I was a teenager at school. People in authority don't necessarily like opinions that are reflective of many but may make their life harder. Other parts of my life have become much less important like the garden and worrying about what people think of me.
I hope that there is a turn around with time but it did take me a long time. Perhaps it is a little sadness in there amongst it all.
Thanks,
Lisa
You found time to read a book about managing your time. Impressive.
ReplyDeleteYour question of "What do you what to be remembered for?" is a great one to pose to my Year 12 Pastoral Care class. So thanks.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Kate Bom